Do Not: Rules for the X Mansion
by HomoLupeuslover
Summary: Scott puts up a list of rules everyone in the mansion must follow. WARNING: Extreme Nerdiness ahead. Mostly OC's from my other stories. Comment your Ideas, I may add to it!


I looked up from my book just as Scott walked in the room, clasping a sheaf of paper. He looked around, then walked over to the notice board and started pinning them up. I nudged Logan and pointed to Scott. Logan grinned. We both stood up and walked over, looking over Scott's shoulder.

"What's this, Scottie?" I asked, leaning on his shoulder.

Scott shrugged me off. "Rules. New ones."

"More rules?" Logan groaned

"Yes, Logan, More rules. Most of these are your fault." He glanced at me "And yours"

"I think I helped!" Aqua appeared at my elbow, Electra in tow.

Scott rolled his eyes and walked off. We gathered around the list and started reading

NOTICE: A reminder that the following ARE NOT ALLOWED in the mansion, on the grounds, or while on any misions

Do Not: Shout "I'm going Ghost!" when Kitty phases through a wall.

Aqua pointed at me. "That was you"

Do Not: Play 52 Pick Up with a charged deck of Gambit's cards.

"Also you"

Do Not: Compare Wolverine's fighting style to that of the Tasmanian Devil.

I laughed. "That one was Bobby"

Do Not: Use an Image inducer to look like Prof. Logan and teleport into the Girls Locker Room

"WHAT!?" we all looked at Logan. "I'm guessing Kurt on that one" I muttered

Do Not: Throw magnets at Logan to see if they stick to his Adamantium skeleton

Do Not: Play "Ice Ice Baby" every time Bobby enters a room.

I looked pointedly at Aqua, who read the next one out loud, blushing slightly

Do Not: Butter all of the ramps outside Professor Xavier's office.

"Who the Heck…?" "No Idea"

Do Not: Ask Professor Xavier where he parked the Enterprise.

"Me!" I raised my hand happily

Do Not: Refer to Professor Xavier as a Jedi Master.

Aqua, Logan, and I all raised our hands, laughing.

Do Not: Ask Emma if she charges by the hour or by the session

Do Not: Ask Emma Frost where her pimp is.

Aqua looked at me "Both of those were you, weren't they?" "YEP" I nodded

Do Not: Refer to Cain Marko as "Juggernaut Bitch" (As in "Have you seen the Juggernaut Bitch", or "Hey, Juggernaut Bitch, what's up?")

"Now to be fair, he did start that one" I pointed out

Do Not: Ask the Shi'Ar to "Beam me up, Scottie"

Aqua looked at me. I shrugged "I thought it was funny"

Do Not: Ask Kurt how he can "Apparate on school grounds"

Do Not: Prank call the Fantastic 4. Or the Avengers

We all looked at Logan. He blushed and kept looking at the list

Do Not: Scare Kitty while she sleeps in an attempt to make her phase through her bed/the floor.

"It's only on here cuz' it worked" I grumbled

Do Not: Ask Jean/Logan/Professor X anyone if they are related to Rory Williams

Do Not: Shout "O my god, they killed Kenny!" when Jean dies

"Ok, Logan did it first!"

Do Not: Ask Logan if he has flees whenever he scratches his head

Do Not: Hold Dance Dance Revolution tournaments between 12 and 4 in the morning.

"Best Tuesday ever." Aqua nodded her agrement

Do Not: Add the word 'mutant' before the name of every sport in gym class. Doing so does not make it acceptable to cheat with the aid of your powers.

"Ok that one was me" We all turned to see Kitty and Kurt walk over. "What, seriously?" Kurt asked. Logan promptly punched him in the arm and blamed Rule Number 4.

Do Not: Play Dodge Ball with Piotr inside EVER

Do Not: Organize a school wide pillow fight

"Hey, you can't tell me that wasn't fun" I tried to defend myself. "Yes it was," Kurt agreed "But cleaning up the feathers wasn't"

Do Not: Do the chicken dance. Ever. For any reason

Everyone broke out in hysterics. "Best Birthday party ever, Kurt"

Do Not: Do anything involving glitter

"It was for Theatre Class!" "Maia, you filled the Blackbird with glitter and crop dusted the whole school!" I hung my head in mock shame. "But I got an A on my project"

Do Not: Hijack the PA system to Rick Roll everyone during finals

"One time!" "Logan, that's all it takes"

Do Not: Refer to Scott and Jean as "Brad and Janet".

Do Not: Refer to Professor Xavier as "Dr. _Von_ Scott!"

Do Not: Refer to Logan as "Rif-Raff" and Maia as "Magenta"

Do Not: Time Warp in the middle of the hall

"We also aren't allowed to watch the movie anymore."

Do Not: Wear roller skates indoors

"That one was Jubilee, not any of us"

Do Not: Press buttons just to see what they do

Do Not: Change the programming in the danger room so it makes the TARDIS sound whenever it boots up

Do Not: Reprogram the Danger Room to be the Escher Room

Do Not: Refer to the Danger Room as "Holodeck 5"

Do Not: Paint flames/ racing stripes on the Blackbird

Do Not: Overclock the Blackbird to try and hit "Warp Nine"

Do Not: Attempt anything I "Saw in a Cartoon/Movie" while driving any vehicle

"Ok, who did any of those?" Aqua looked at me. I shrugged "I can claim the reprogramming, but the Blackbird and Driving ones were Kurt"

Do Not: Use Wolverine's picture on my "Save the Animals" Tee-shirt

"That wasn't funny!" Logan looked upset, so we did the only kind thing. Laughed at him.

Do Not: Answer the door "Mutant High. Picking up or Dropping off?"

Do Not: Answer the phone "Thank you for calling Pizza Planet, would you like to try our Buzz Lightyear Special?"

Do Not: Answer the phone "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"

Do Not: Answer the phone "Starfleet Academy, where to us "From the Stars, Knowledge" is not only a motto, but a way of life"

Do Not: Answer the phone "Star Command. Mr. Lightyear is on the other line, would you please hold?"

Do Not: Answer the phone "Gallifrey U. Preparing your generation for the Past, Present, and Future. How may we help you?"

"And that's why they never let Maia answer the phones" "HEY!" I paused "Actually yeah"

Do Not: Respond "not my division" when getting called for a mission

Do Not: Phase people halfway through the floor and make jumanji jokes

We all laughed as Kitty blushed. "It would have been funny if Scott hadn't tripped on him"

Do Not: Shout "One of you is gonna fall and die and I'm not gonna clean it up" whenever people run past

Do Not: Shout "Run Forrest! Run!" at the track team

Do Not: Shout "Vertical running!" at the track team

Do Not: Case someone shouting Exterminate/Delete

"Logan's actually just not allowed outside when the track team practices"

Do Not: Say "you have no power over me" when someone assigns you a chore

Do Not: Use the excuse "it is better to ask for forgiveness than to get permission"

I faked a cough "coughcoughAQUAcough"

Do Not: Make new kids wait outside to be 'sorted'

Do Not: Tell the new kids there is a room of requirement

Do Not: Call the new kids Probie/Frankie First Year/ Launchies/Redshirts/

Do Not: Tell the new kids they cant get a room until they have been 'claimed'

Do Not: Tell the new kids there is a labyrinth out back with goblins in it

Do Not: Convince the new kids we "Control the Matrix"

Do Not: Threaten to throw the new kids in an oubliette

Do Not: Threaten to have young children 'Unwound'

"And this is why Logan and Maia aren't allowed to show new kids around" Aqua rolled her eyes. Logan and I high-fived

Do Not: Stage a 'tri-mutant' tournament

Do Not: Mention/create/joke about the Bog of Eternal Stench

Do Not: Have/make/buy/sell/set off fireworks on the grounds.

Do Not: Use the Labs to create any fictional creatures (Tribbles, Gremlins, and Basilisks included)

"Dude, Remember when Hank made those Tribbles and they almost took over the school?" "How can anyone forget?"

Do Not: Shout at people in a language they don't understand

We all pointed at Kurt, who proceeded to swear in German

Do Not: Swear in mandarin

"流口水的婊子和猴子的笨兒子!" I curse

Do Not: Swear on the river stix

Do Not: Curse in the name of merlin, his beard, or his pants

Do Not: Call anyone using elemental powers a Pokémon

"Also Me!" I smiled. Electra leaned over and gave me a friendly jolt

Do Not: Tell people "Up wherever your species traditionally crams things"

Do Not: Ask Scott when Captain Jack will arrive.

"Remember when we convinced all those girls that he was a real mutant and they waited outside like…all day hoping he would show up?" Electra laughed. "Course I do!" said Aqua.

Do Not: Sing "everyones a little bit racist". Ever.

Do Not: Play Uno attack. Or Monopoly. Or Risk. Or Apples to apples.

"Only because Logan CHEATS!" "It's not cheating, its creative gameplay" "Logan, you can't rob the bank in monopoly!

Do Not:

The list abruptly ended. "Well that doesn't make sense" Kurt said.

"I think it's a warning that they can add to it whenever they want" Logan said

"Well then" I clapped aqua on the shoulder "Let's give them something to add!"


End file.
